Blog 1: Man Up

In Guys Club and Invincible the world in which the characters live in is shaping them into a standard stereotypically acceptable men. We watch the characters learn the rules of masculinity through various stories and experiences. And as some are learning experiences, we watch them be corrected by others around them into what is acceptable for a boy. Being told what is expected of them by imposing figures like other men around them, chaperones or father figures. The opinion of other men and how you are perceived by them is of great importance. In this journal I will be discussing how negative stereotypes about being a man feed into the vicious cycle of toxic masculinity, how certain qualities are seen as too feminine, and how self expression is limited due to preexisting expectations in society about what being a man is.

“Don’t cry” mama said

 I noticed in Invincible when Marc was calling his mom in the car and all though he was clearly struggling and crying in the middle of a breakdown, instead of letting himself cry he chose to silence himself. I feel as if this is another telling detail of how Marc was raised or maybe the stereotypes he grew up in. Him denying himself of crying is concerning because the character probably thinks that as a boy he can’t allow others to see him sad. He should never cry because that’s not what not boys do. Again this vicious cycle of toxic masculinity negatively impacts Marc once again because it makes me think about the different outcomes if Marc would have spoken up. If he spoke up about his feelings and how he was struggling because of the pressure and structure of the maison des jeunes, maybe he would still be alive. This makes me think of how men do not talk about their feelings and often have no one to share things with which is concerning for mental health purposes because just like Marc we notice how damaging it can be to keep to yourself. Especially because in many cultures still today men are not permitted to cry or talk about their feelings without being seen as weak and often this leads them to less frequently reach out for help when needed because of toxic gender stereotypes. The same idea applies to Carlos after coming back from the gay bar, he was hesitant to share that information with his dad out of fear of what he would think of him. Will he think of him as gay? A lesser man? These are thoughts that Carlos has to weigh before telling him because of the expectations about being a strong man in today’s society. “ I suppose everyone was convinced we had no idea. I still wonder how my dad and Karin would have reacted if they thought we went on purpose.” (Gomez, 73). There is no room for crying or drag shows or sharing feelings. Because then they are lesser men or others might think they are gay.

Being sensitive is gay

I believe both characters have an ongoing struggle as young men understand the duality of vulnerability and that it is not a weak quality to possess. Carlos only comes to this realisation later on in life when writing his own memoir but the boy unfortunately doesn’t come to see this. Both boys seem to think that having this quality interferes with their ability to be a tough man. Reinforcing the negative stereotypes about men and young boys; how they can’t cry and must always be strong. We notice this in the basketball scene at the maison des jeunes with Marc, it almost becomes a pissing contest on who is the biggest man. Because it’s a hostile environment all the boys are in physical competition with one another and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is not an option in order to survive. Under different circumstances for Carlos being vulnerable even on the outside world still was not an option. Maybe this time not for survival purposes but because the stereotypes are so enforced and embedded into his society that being vulnerable would mean he is less of a man. Carlos shared that he was becoming homophobic due to the rejection of what he would call emasculating qualities and the need to posses “straight” qualities 

Limits on male self expression

A topic I found that was reoccurring in Carlos Gomez chapter was throughout his coming of age he wasn’t allowed to express himself in what would be considered untraditional for young men. The classic painted nails that seems to stick with all readers is still worth mentioning because it’s a trivial concept of innocence and how stereotypes take that away from kids. “And I wanted to get my fingernails painted too. My aunt tried to laugh off my request. Then she calmly explained to me that this kind of thing was only for girls.” (Gomez, 66). Carlos simply tried to explore and express himself because he wanted to be beautiful like his sister and aunt. However he’s denied this experience because of predetermined stereotypes and expectations implanted in society previously. Struggling to find ways to express himself as he’s growing up and is robbed of these experiences because of all the stereotypes and expectations that already exist in society around him. I think that Marc in invincible struggles in a similar way because he is also limited in ways of self expression. I believe this is why we see him express himself through his poem. Which maybe among the other young boys would be considered feminine for expressing oneself through writing. Crying for him did not seem to be an option but just like Carlos they had to find alternative ways because their methods were emasculating according to stereotypes.

Exploring Masculinity under different circumstances

Marc and Carlos might not have experienced the same fate if they were set in a more progressive environment or a different cultural context. Carlos wouldn’t have been marked by his experiences on masculinity as deeply as he was. Growing up he wouldn’t have associated the word faggot to being diabled. Maybe he wouldn’t have been socially reprimanded for painting his nails. As well as face disapproval and taboo remarks for going to a gay bar/drag show. Carlos’s experience growing up would have formed him into a more open minded and willing to explore his own self expression to what actual Carlos considered gay. But as we know Carlos himself mentions that due to his cultural and non progressive environment he was heavily homophobie. As for Marc, he most likely would have had less difficulty to express his own feelings if his environment was more progressive. Culturally Marc is québécois and from what I’ve noticed working and living in Quebec mental health is not something that is openly talked about. Therapy is taboo and expressing your feelings is not a common occurrence. If Marc was set in a more progressive environment I genuinely believe he could have overcome his mental health issues with proper help and had a bright future. But due to the exact message the short film is trying to convey, we notice how taboo and impossible this was for Marc due to his circumstances. Alternatively I think different models such as those that challenge what we  modernly think as masculine are present in society, it would help undo the harmful stereotypes we have. Such as many alternative male celebrities pushing boundaries and wearing skirts and dresses on red carpets. These small and alternative progressive changes in society could positively help the progression and undo hurtful stereotypes that we presently see today for future generations.