Blog 2: Rethinking Masculinity

When discussing redefining masculinity, we can’t ignore the positives and the negatives. One is the damaging idea that being a man means being tough or violent. The other is the paradoxical situation where men, seemingly in control of society, often feel powerless. In this post, I’m going to challenge the myth that masculinity and violence should co-exist and explore the reasons for this sense of helplessness among men. Drawing upon Michael Kimmel’s insights, reflections from the documentary in Charlottesville, and insights from the eye-opening documentary Inside Incel, I’ll argue for a shift in our understanding of manhood. Let’s talk about a more welcoming version of masculinity that makes room for everyone and promotes a more equitable society. Separating from old stereotypes and embracing a new vision of masculinity that is about connection, not violence.

It is common knowledge that violence is the main breeder of violence itself. Throughout history, violence, even done in the name of justice, is only a justifier of more violence. Therefore, if you combine this with Kimmel’s idea that violence is the single most evident marker of manhood, that becomes the perfect chemistry for chaos. As seen through Vice News’ small documentary on Charlottesville and the Neo-Nazi movement in the United States, lack of tolerance is still very present in society, especially in places where men feel powerless. One of the leaders of this intolerant movement, Christopher Cantwell, is one of the prime examples of someone who has a very toxic approach to his masculinity as well as humanity. Kimmel’s analysis of the disconnect between the social and the psychological explains how men are in power as a group but do not feel powerful themselves. Cantwell is one of the leaders of the white nationalist movement in the U.S. He can be classified as a Neo-Nazi who shows an extreme lack of tolerance through his violent demonstrations and even the justification of violence toward counter-protesters. His ideologies are extremely dangerous to the development of society since only a politics of inclusion and promotion of equality can bring positive news for all.

Since men are usually the ones in power, how come the average man feels powerless? According to Kimmel, that is because of how society has defined manhood, “we’ve constructed the rules of manhood so that only the tiniest fraction of men come to believe that they are the biggest of wheels, the sturdiest of oaks, the most virulent repudiators of femininity, the most daring and aggressive. We’ve managed to disempower most American men” (Kimmel, p.4). Through this excerpt, the sociologist talks about how the system enforces rules on all men, but the majority cannot fulfill these rules since they are built for the exceptions. Through this analysis, we can understand the real effects of this mindset when you see the small CBC documentary, Inside Incel. This documentary talks about the Incel community, who are seen as “Involuntary Celibates”. These types of people demonstrate how feeling powerless, in extreme cases, can lead to extreme demonstrations of power and violence. In this case, especially over women, Incels are men who have a deep hate or frustration for women and other people who end up reinforcing some of the toxic rules of manhood. A great example is when Alek Minassian, a known Incel, plowed his van into a group of people, of which 8 out of the 10 fatal victims were women. Once again, this is how violence is seen to breed violence and some men who feel powerless end up feeling the need to demonstrate their power, often resulting in unwanted incidents.

Finally, the negative outward expression of toxic masculinity can lead to extreme acts of violence, demonstrations of power, and harm caused towards others who also reinforce the unachievable laws of manhood. Because of that, it is vital that society as a whole, works hard to include not only the groups affected negatively by toxic masculinity but also the toxic men who cause this harm as well. A concept that should be the one to replace the unachievable concepts of masculinity is that the politics of inclusion and tolerance are more important than the politics of violence and exclusion.