Blog 1: The Unwritten Rules of Masculinity

Many claim that living life is to have a free will, backed by many governments which try their hardest to grant conditional freedom to their citizens, but there is always a catch. The most limiting aspect of life is that of unwritten rules. We can look at the creations of Carlos Andrés Gómez and Vincent René-lortie, to get a better perspective. “Guys Club: No Faggots, Bitches, or Pussies Allowed.” and “Invincible” both explore the lives of someone affected by an extremely common rule, the rule which engulfs and manipulates what a gender must do to be accepted into a society. The unwritten rule of masculinity. Many aspects of one’s life can be affected by this rule, especially those of the male community, whether it’s the mental or in other words the interior state of one, or the external reaction caused by the rules of masculinity.

“Guys Club: No Faggots, Bitches, or Pussies Allowed.” explores the issues faced by Carlos Andrés Gómez. This story can be approached as an autobiography. Often in his own life experiences he expriences a push which forces him to abide a certain way, understood that it is the rules of masculinity. Carlos’ stories tend to revolve around homophobia, and the restricting aspects the unwritten rules towards those of the LGBT. Often his own life experiences, where those enforcing the unwritten rules of masculinity are apparent. “Invincible”, on the other hand, is written in the memory of a child. Marc is a troubled child, who often feels trapped, and unable to express his proper emotions as he does not want to be seen as weak. Marc abides by the rules of masculinity, which puts him in trouble. In many ways this can be understood in a physical and mental state for our protagonist, as he is trapped and yearning for an escaped from the physical juvenile detention centre, as well as his own mental state because he does not want to seen as less of a man so he holds his emotions in. Both of these severely affect Marc’s life, and lead to him attempting suicide at the end of the short film. Marc was unable to break these rules, and was ultimately taken down by the rules of masculinity.

An issue that has plagued the male generations for centuries is the push back against transparency, especially if it comes to their emotion, and talking about their issues. It’s understood in society that men are expected to resolve their issues themselves, all while helping others with theirs. Although not expressed on paper, it’s the characteristic of self-autonomy which is praised. If one does not display this characteristic, they are often frowned upon and will be pushed by those enforcing the unwritten rules of masculinity. When studying the works of Carlos Andrés Gómez and Vincent René-lortie similar instances can be seen. In Carlos’ instance, he was on the receiving end of someone displaying their emotions towards him, although unintentionally he was enforcing the unwritten rule. When one of his friends displayed emotion towards him, Carlos was unsure about how to respond, and felt some internal homophobia towards his friend. Now let’s look at opposite situations, where the characters had to keep their emotions and thoughts to themselves. For Carlos he had trouble talking to his father, who didn’t care enough to listen to him. In continuity Marc had similar instances, when he initially came back to the detention centre after a trip with his family, his friend didn’t care enough to listen to him, instead he was talking about a little kid who crying and about how it annoyed him. His friend was enforcing the unwritten rule, all the while Marc was forced to keep his issues and thoughts to himself. This can also be seen when he was told to write a poem for French class. When it came to the poem he was able to write his thoughts onto paper perfectly, displaying each of his issues with perfect clarity, yet when his teacher decided to tell the whole class his poem he felt embarrassed, judged, and even mad. I personally feel like this is to show how Marc is scared of being seen as vulnerable, as problems and issues are to be kept to oneself, especially if you are a man and want to abide by the unwritten rule of masculinity. For me personally, I’ve always been shamed for displaying too much negative emotion by those I know well, especially sadness. On an uncountable amount of times I have heard the phrase, man up, or don’t be a little girl. Much like those in the stories, displaying your emotion as a man can be a difficult task. Yet there is always an issue with keeping something internal for too long, much like an active volcano, which only came to be due to a constant increase of pressure. The unwritten rule of masculinity often leads to not being capable of expressing one’s feelings which can then lead to an explosion of external expression.

An explosion, too much in one space where when the cap comes off, it escapes as fast as possible. Yet explosions don’t just happen randomly, there is always a build up of something, which overcrowded, wants to leave. Grenades work because of the internal substance getting overcrowded by itself, due to the raise in temperature, which is caused externally. Marc and Carlos both had different reactions, one more explosive, like a grenade, the other was like water overflowing in a container. Marc, was that of the grenade, as mentioned previously he had a lot of internal pressure, caused by external devices, whether its people ignoring his pleas and disregarding his emotions. To even a more physical element where he had been kept in captivity, like a prison, forced to stay between the walls of the juvenile detention centre.  Marc was a teen with overboiling internal issues, if given the right time, it was expected for them to explode out. In one instance, Marc had escaped the walls and ran, stealing a car, and driving it into the river due to the fear of being seen as a failure. When taking the car, the driver had initially left in order to get Marc help, as she had hit him, yet Marc followed the unwritten rules of masculinity and left before help arrived. Its understood that this as an explosion of actions. When someone’s’ emotions get high, they tend to do an action to let it out, some punch a wall, others go for a run or a walk, Marc’s reaction was to run for freedom. Yet in Carlo’s context he already had freedom in the physical sense. This led to less of an explosion and more of an overflow, Carlos was able to release some internal pressure through talking to his mother, or getting with women at parties. Yet in similarity, Carlos was unable to talk to father about his feelings, and had felt disgust when his friend expressed feelings towards him. Both main characters had problems when it came to internal issues caused by the unwritten rule of masculinity, yet when it came to expressing them, Carlos was much more calm. Much like Marc, I had a similar situation when it came to uncorking my emotions. The reason I had broken my hand was due to a build up of emotion caused by not being to talk it out, and failing to losing it in a calmer fashion. Much like Marc I had an “explosion” which resulted with my dominant hand being in a cast for a month of my life. The unwritten rules of masculinity are harming generations of men, whether its outright suicide attempt by Marc, or the irrational actions of Carlos’, the rules have an insurmountable amount of control over them.

The unwritten rules of masculinity hold many people in jeopardy. It must be understood that these two stories only account the situations of two people. Yet issues like these arise for each and every single man to have lived this world. In recent history there has been more and more push back against traditional masculinity, this is apparent in “Guys Club: No Faggots, Bitches, or Pussies Allowed.”, with the constant mention of the gay community as well as the gay clubs. There is more and more attention to the mental health of males, in to avoid similar situations like that of Marc’s in “Invincible”. Actions are being taken, yet the laceration done by the unwritten rules of masculinity goes deep. They say time heals everything, so hopefully life as a man won’t be as constricting and difficult in the near future.

WORKS CITED:

Gómez, Carlos Andrés “Guys Club: No Faggots, Bitches, or Pussies Allowed.” Man up: Cracking the Code of Modern Manhood, Gotham Books, 2012, pp. 65–83.

René-Lortie, Vincent, director. Invincible, TV5 Unis, 2022, https://www.tv5unis.ca/invincible.