Blog 1: The impact of masculinity on men.

Having chosen to be in this course means I have interest in learning the difficulties and the differences men and women go through. The expectations, the needs, the wants, and the stereotypes vary between both genders. After having watched the short film “Invincible” and reading “Guys Club” I have seen multiple diverse ways masculinity can be portrayed through actions and words.

“Guys Club” by Gomez, Carlos Andres, has opened my eyes beyond what I have known. Throughout my time reading this chapter, I have sympathized and acknowledged these difficulties and hardships. Within the first few pages, we read about Carlos’s devastating experience, where he had asked his aunt to paint his fingernails after seeing his sisters getting hers done. His aunt refuses at first, saying it was something for “girls only”, but he insisted, and she gave in, telling him “I guess you’ll have to learn the hard way.”. Carlos, being a young boy, saw no problem with this, he was simply expressing himself and doing what any child likes doing, exploring, being curious and trying new things. When his aunt and sister were done, he excitedly ran to the soccer court to play with the other kids, but the fun was abruptly interrupted when one of the big boys trapped the ball and grabbed his hand, calling him a “faggot” and denying his right to play with them for having his nails done. Carlos got laughed at, pointed at, and made fun of. He was only six years old. This part of the chapter really got me. I could not help but feel sad for Carlos. Although, many questions came into my head; how old were the bigger kids? Who taught them such vulgar words? Why were they taught to treat people that way? Nevertheless, it saddens me that because he is a boy, he is stripped from the fun of getting his nails done, or getting pretty, because if he does, he would be considered a “faggot” and not “normal”.

In the short film “Invincible” by Vincent René-Lortie, we watch Marc, the main character of the story, go through different hardships and experiences you would have never thought about before. In one scene, we see Marc in his classroom, writing in his book. Classmates being asked to read what they had written down, then came Marc’s turn. He stayed silent, and the teacher offered to read it out for him. The words, the meaning behind them and the power in them are so strong. It was such an obvious cry for help. “Je crie dans un monde qui ne peut m’écouter.” Translates to; “I scream in a world where no one can listen to me.”. I think this is a perfect sentence to talk about how men don’t feel comfortable with expressing their emotions and talk about how it is socially looked down upon when men are expressive and vulnerable. Marc was clearly struggling and in need of mental help, however, even after reading those words, he was dismissed, and everyone kept going on with their day. No one took a moment to talk to him and ask if he was doing alright, or asked if anything was bothering him. This moment really hurt my heart and made me think. I can’t help but wonder how many boys and men go through this. Ones who try speaking up about their struggles but get dismissed, and ones who choose to repress their emotions and deal with it themselves. How is it acceptable to let these people struggle, simply because of social standards, expectations and stereotypes? It doesn’t make sense, yet it’s still the truth in the world we live in.

Although I’ve talked a lot about how toxic masculinity can get, throughout our modern days it has improved greatly and is starting to be more and more realistic. More and more men are open to expressing themselves, although it can still be a sensitive subject for some. I think what we need to do, as a society, is to accept that men are human beings and have their needs. We need to understand that men should also get pampered, loved and cherished just as much as women. We need to leave these gender roles in the past and move onto what should be equality.