Blog 1: Beyond the Boundaries

As a girl today, I don’t really concern myself with issues of masculinity. My surroundings are mostly other girls so I don’t think about how men are in our current society. However, after reading Carlos Andrés Gómez’s memoir and watching the short film Invincible, I’ve come to realize how some of my views on masculinity are false, more precisely on the notion of homophobia, gender norms, and societal pressures, showcasing the complexity of masculinity and how differently society reacts to men going against and conforming to the concept of masculinity.

In Gómez’s memoir, Man Up: Cracking the Code of Modern Manhood, he starts his chapter off with an incident that occurred during his childhood. He writes about how he wore nail polish one day and got made fun of, and bullied even because it was gay to wear nail polish. When he later came back home crying, his aunt just told him that she tried to tell him and that he wouldn’t listen. I hadn’t realized how deeply homophobia and masculinity ran in kids. The confusion Gomez felt was heartbreaking, he was just a child who wanted to feel nice. Kids are taught that boys wearing makeup is harmful and feminine, which is what men should never be according to society. His aunt’s reaction to him getting picked on surprised me, I expected her to be more comforting than dismissive. It just shows how adults push the narrative of “masculinity” and how the concept of a “real man” really hasn’t changed since the past. Another moment that hit me was when he said, “When I am not the overbearing, all-powerful man, who am I?” It showed society’s expectations of men and if a man does not fulfill them, they are anything but men. Everything Carlos was taught led to this, his definition of masculinity is what his family, his friends, and his world told him was, he did not have his definition of what it is to be a man. His identity depended on what people wanted him to be and that made me realize how dependent men were on society even if they tell others they don’t care about other people’s opinions. It showed me the fear men had of deviating from outdated gender roles that are encouraged in Western society.

In the short film, Invincible, Marc shows traits of what people would call real masculinity. He acts up in the detention center a few times, for example when he turns on the fire alarm with a lighter that he sneaked in, with the way he dismisses figures of authority, and when he runs away. He also seemed to have anger issues, he was easily angered, something that is seen as masculine. I was curious to know how people would react to this behaviour because society usually dismisses this with a “boys will be boys”, however, the reaction was completely different, Marc was punished for his behaviour and was even told that he was better than this, that he could be better which brings me to my other point, his softness. Regardless of how masculine he was projecting himself, he was just a child. He liked to read, to write and knew how to take care of plants, which are seen as feminine. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he was encouraged to do his hobbies rather than criticized for his interests. This went completely against the contemporary Western narrative that usually excuses certain types of behaviour, such as violence, under the notion of masculinity and the discouragement of what is considered feminine. When he went on his last drive, he called his mother, and even if he didn’t say anything I could feel his emotions. As invincible as he projected himself to be, he was just a little boy who didn’t get enough time to grow up. As I saw the reaction to his rebellious behaviour and the encouragement to pursue his interests, I realized the potential for a more inclusive understanding of masculinity and even a change of the rigid expectations placed on men.

In both works, the two boys have their freedom taken away by the world around them, one more literally and the other figuratively. Carlos’ freedom of expression is taken away from him, he doesn’t feel safe enough to express himself freely because of what his family and society taught him. When he travelled around, he saw how other cultures worked and how intimate the people were. He expressed how much he loved it, and how open these men were, even if his body contradicted his mind, which surprised me because I thought he would have been more uncomfortable given how disgusted he was in the gay club and had even admitted to himself that he was homophobic. By the end of the chapter, Carlos gets an epiphany where he realizes how he was being narrow-minded because of how he was raised and gains his freedom. His journey showed me how societal expectations limited his freedom of expression, emphasizing the importance of conforming to predefined notions of masculinity that are already imposed by Western society. In the short film, Marc has his freedom taken away from him. The film is about his last 48 hours where he attempts to gain his freedom back from a society that had deemed him as a troubled boy. From what I know, men tend to hate when their freedom is taken away because it is seen as weak, and this film showed me two perspectives on this. Most of the boys in the center seem to like the place except for Marc who wants to run away. While he does successfully run away, he ends up killing himself which made me think of how society would see him because suicide is seen by many as a weak thing and unmanly so would they shame him or empathize with him.

While exploring both pieces, I learned a lot of new things and questioned my understanding of certain topics of masculinity. From Carlo’s experience with homophobia to Marc’s life in detention, I was able to see how differently people reacted to men doing things seen as unmanly and even things that were seen as masculine. While reflecting on the text and film, I recognized that my initial indifference toward issues of masculinity had given way to a nuanced understanding. The quest for self-expression, the conflicts with societal norms, and the delicate balance between toughness and vulnerability all contributed to a richer understanding of masculinity. As I continue to explore and understand these perspectives, I’m more motivated to engage in ongoing conversations that contribute to a more nuanced understanding of masculinity in our society.

Gómez, Carlos Andrés “Guys Club: No Faggots, Bitches, or Pussies Allowed.” Man up: Cracking the Code of
Modern Manhood, Gotham Books, 2012, pp. 65–83.
René-Lortie, Vincent, director. Invincible, TV5 Unis, 2022, https://www.tv5unis.ca/invincible.