Blog 1: What it is to be A Man

Miguel Gama

Ever since societies have existed, there have been gender expectations or roles. Whether it is a matriarchal or patriarchal society, there usually is a framework that you should follow based on your gender. These roles are starting to get challenged more frequently in recent times. Nowadays, most men grow up in a society that conforms to a traditional view of masculinity. This point of view consists of many ideologies that past generations, religions, companies, and popular culture have influenced. Two great examples of culture that tackle many aspects of this topic are the following: “Guys Club” by Carlos Andres Gomez, and the short film “Invincible” by Vincent René-Lortie. The book as well as the short film describe common ‘must-dos’ for men, which usually are that we are expected to provide, protect and prepare. They also mention other taboos such as boys crying, or homosexuality. 

The compliance to traditional views of masculinity, influenced by past generations, religions, companies, and popular culture, persists in modern society, imposing expectations such as providing, protecting, and preparing for men. The concept of traditional masculinity can be seen several times throughout the excerpt of the text by Carlos Andres Gomez. A section that exceptionally describes the idea of not being sensitive and being man enough is when Carlos mentions how he would be treated if he showed vulnerability or sensitivity, “Growing up, my friends and I would always tell each other to stop being a bitch or a pussy anytime someone showed weakness or vulnerability. — “being “man enough”) was a huge issue for me as a kid, especially because I’ve always been very sensitive.” (p.66-67). This excerpt depicts the societal taboo around treating men’s mental health. Traditionally, men aren’t expected to talk about their feelings or put themselves in vulnerable positions when talking about their mental health. Carlos would partake in the act of repressing boys who were viewed as sensitive even though he saw himself as one as well. That just shows how societal norms do indeed, shape how we see the world as men and treat other men. At the same time, the short film “Invincible” shows in more detail how “keeping your feelings in” or “thugging it out” can take a toll on your psychological state and, sometimes, even be fatal. Marc, being in a youth reformation centre, is already in a not-very-positive environment concerning the other male influences in his life. Being very rebellious and troubled since a kid, Marc always had issues opening up and expressing his doubts as a teenager. If you combine the huge amounts of hormones and feelings during teenage years with the expectations and “rules” that a man in society should follow, many people will not be able to “thug it out” or simply live through it without external help or mental support.

The repressive side of traditional masculinity impacts many aspects of men’s lives and how we develop. One of the most tragic impacts that it can have is the disproportion of suicide rates. Watching Lortier’s short film, reminded me of how men commit suicide three times more than our female counterparts. This is affected by many aspects, but one of the most crucial areas is the societal expectations and repression of mental health talk. Men aren’t usually encouraged to share their emotions, seek therapists, or even be vulnerable with close ones. This is because it is viewed as weak or “not manly” by society. I believe that the protagonist of the short film may have committed suicide partly due to being a troubled young man who wasn’t supported enough so that he could talk about what he was going through. He didn’t have a prominent male or female figure who had constant conversations about how he was feeling. Therefore, it is clear that the world men inhabit has a huge effect on how we are shaped and how we act as men.

Finally, while traditional masculinity has positive aspects, its repressive side needs a reconsideration of societal norms and the promotion of freedom of thought and expression. It is clear that while the concept of traditional masculinity has plenty of positives, it also has a repressive side that can have negative impacts on men growing up. Throughout this blog post, I have explained that I believe in how the repressive side of traditional masculinity can affect men’s mental health and well-being. All that to say, I believe that freedom of thought and expression does have a significant impact on raising kids and teenagers. I think that people have the right to their beliefs and ideologies, and they can raise their kids how they would like. On the other hand, the challenge with this line of thought is that there will be many different ideologies and ways of raising kids, especially men. Therefore, it is extremely important to respect other people’s beliefs and ideas, and healthy debates and discussions should also be encouraged so that people can respectfully learn from one another. Besides, community-based initiatives and support networks should be appointed to provide safe spaces for men to express their feelings and share their experiences without fear of judgment and with people in similar situations. While some people may not agree with traditional views of masculinity, some may agree, and that is not a bad thing. Some people are religious, some aren’t, some are old-fashioned, and some are more modern. It is important to respect all forms of self-expression and at the same time be able to express yourself the way you believe is morally sound.